New Beginnings Old Ideas

Today has to be one of the most beautiful so far this year. I have been enjoying the weather and the time off so much - but I am not letting myself enjoy it fully. I feel guilty, I don't want to waste any time doing "nothing" - I feel that I have to be productive 24/7. I really do need to relax and enjoy what God has allowed for me to have. Why don't I feel worthy and why do I always have to look to the future. Relax. Live in the moment, clear my mind. I guess one reason I don't relax well is because when I shut down, I tend to get depressed. I need structure, schedules. I need to be needed and to be able to cross the things off of the "to do" list to prove my worth - get over yourself!
I think I will go pull some weeds and give myself a talking to so that I can enjoy what I have instead of thinking too much!!!!