I hope to spend this year in the moment - enjoying life each day. No planning for new work opportunities, new money making schemes, money oriented goals. I want to be in the moment and to listen to God's call for my life. To be able to be hear His call, His purpose for my life.
I want to spend my time enjoying my talents, my gifts, my family, my friends. I want to appreciate people and their places in my life. I want to be a better person, I want to love my husband well and to be kind to him every day. I want my children to know that they are loved and cherished, not smothered or indebted to anyone in any way. I want to love and be loved. I want to be calm, contented, fulfilled with the best things in life and not to worry about those things that I have no control over or that do not matter. I want to love life, love my family, my friends and above all my Lord with all my heart. I want this to be my best year yet. I need to take the "I want" out of all of these desires and put in "What does God want" in instead. Amen.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Frustration and Obligation
Have you ever been so upset that you don't know how to get happy again?
Have you ever taken a path that you thought you were called to take and found that it is not right for you or that you are not right for it?
Have you ever had someone you love be thoughtless or selfish with you?
How do you overcome these things, especially when there are so many other, more horrific things that are happening in the world?
How do you learn to relax when you are wired from frustration and guilt?
How do you stop complaining when you are so unhappy you can't talk about anything else?
How do you reach God and get His comfort to calm you down when you have hormones raging through your body, hot flashes, migraines, anxiety?
Who do you talk to when you have worn your family and friends out with your complaining and frustration. How do you get happy again?
Have you ever taken a path that you thought you were called to take and found that it is not right for you or that you are not right for it?
Have you ever had someone you love be thoughtless or selfish with you?
How do you overcome these things, especially when there are so many other, more horrific things that are happening in the world?
How do you learn to relax when you are wired from frustration and guilt?
How do you stop complaining when you are so unhappy you can't talk about anything else?
How do you reach God and get His comfort to calm you down when you have hormones raging through your body, hot flashes, migraines, anxiety?
Who do you talk to when you have worn your family and friends out with your complaining and frustration. How do you get happy again?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Calm before the Storm/The Storm before the Calm
I had the nicest talk with my Dad over the past weekend. We talked about ourselves and our lack of self-esteem. The fact that even when others rave about our accomplishments, we don't feel content. How we don't feel that we are anything special and that we are not boastful.
I had heard a sermon that day where the speaker said that as human beings we tend to be very prideful whenever we are complimented and that we let it go to our heads and get all full of ourselves and put God aside. My dad agreed with me when I said I felt that we had the opposite problem. We don't feel boastful, we feel discontent. We also agreed that we need to find a happy medium, a place where we can feel that we are serving the Lord and that He is pleased with us. A place where we know that what we are doing pleases Him. We know that in our hearts, it's our minds that don't register it and let us relax. When we have too much to do we stress. When we have nothing to do we stress. What exasperating children we are to the Father! How he must shake his head at us and say - "Peace, be still and know that I am God & I love you just the way you are!"
It was very reassuring to me to know that I come by this trait of discontentment honestly - from my parents - and that I am not the only one that feels this way.
It was also good to know that I can say to my dad - "Is this how it makes you feel?" and he can say "Yes!" This in itself is a breakthrough in communication for the two of us!
All of this talk of discontentment oddly gave me a calming feeling that I longed to have. It helped me feel ok to know that I am not the only one that feels like this and that those that I hold in such high regard and love - those that are so incredibly talented, feel the same way I do.
I really feel that this insight will help me be more tolerant of myself and maybe have compassion for those around me. If I can feel ok about who I am and all my flaws, then I can be more tolerant of those around me and maybe, just maybe spread a little grace!
I had heard a sermon that day where the speaker said that as human beings we tend to be very prideful whenever we are complimented and that we let it go to our heads and get all full of ourselves and put God aside. My dad agreed with me when I said I felt that we had the opposite problem. We don't feel boastful, we feel discontent. We also agreed that we need to find a happy medium, a place where we can feel that we are serving the Lord and that He is pleased with us. A place where we know that what we are doing pleases Him. We know that in our hearts, it's our minds that don't register it and let us relax. When we have too much to do we stress. When we have nothing to do we stress. What exasperating children we are to the Father! How he must shake his head at us and say - "Peace, be still and know that I am God & I love you just the way you are!"
It was very reassuring to me to know that I come by this trait of discontentment honestly - from my parents - and that I am not the only one that feels this way.
It was also good to know that I can say to my dad - "Is this how it makes you feel?" and he can say "Yes!" This in itself is a breakthrough in communication for the two of us!
All of this talk of discontentment oddly gave me a calming feeling that I longed to have. It helped me feel ok to know that I am not the only one that feels like this and that those that I hold in such high regard and love - those that are so incredibly talented, feel the same way I do.
I really feel that this insight will help me be more tolerant of myself and maybe have compassion for those around me. If I can feel ok about who I am and all my flaws, then I can be more tolerant of those around me and maybe, just maybe spread a little grace!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Anticipation vs. Contentment
anticipation - to look forward to
contentment - modest satisfaction
For the longest time I have felt that these two things cannot go hand in hand. You either have to be content with what you have or constantly be looking for something more than who you are.
Today I have come to the conclusion that this is not the case. These two things can go hand in hand. Anticipating a new day, a new beginning, a new purpose, even a new book, can get you out of bed in the morning. It can give you a reason for living your life, doing good works, or just setting your house in order. Contentment comes from the result of those works, the accomplishments your have made from living the life you had anticipated.
Always seeking, anticipating new ideas, new projects, new ways to use your gifts and talents can bring you contentment within your life, peace with your heart, and fulfillment in your soul.
Seeking your purpose is a great anticipation of what God has in store for you. Finding contentment within yourself and your abilities helps fullfill the anticipation so that you can be used in the way you are meant to be used. Knowing that you have something to give, something to share, something to contribute to mankind gives you contentment within yourself.
Contentment in yourself, in those around you, in your purpose and your path is the greatest gift we can allow ourselves to receive. Anticipating what we can do with this gift is the bonus of being human.
contentment - modest satisfaction
For the longest time I have felt that these two things cannot go hand in hand. You either have to be content with what you have or constantly be looking for something more than who you are.
Today I have come to the conclusion that this is not the case. These two things can go hand in hand. Anticipating a new day, a new beginning, a new purpose, even a new book, can get you out of bed in the morning. It can give you a reason for living your life, doing good works, or just setting your house in order. Contentment comes from the result of those works, the accomplishments your have made from living the life you had anticipated.
Always seeking, anticipating new ideas, new projects, new ways to use your gifts and talents can bring you contentment within your life, peace with your heart, and fulfillment in your soul.
Seeking your purpose is a great anticipation of what God has in store for you. Finding contentment within yourself and your abilities helps fullfill the anticipation so that you can be used in the way you are meant to be used. Knowing that you have something to give, something to share, something to contribute to mankind gives you contentment within yourself.
Contentment in yourself, in those around you, in your purpose and your path is the greatest gift we can allow ourselves to receive. Anticipating what we can do with this gift is the bonus of being human.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
New Beginnings Old Ideas
Today has to be one of the most beautiful so far this year. I have been enjoying the weather and the time off so much - but I am not letting myself enjoy it fully. I feel guilty, I don't want to waste any time doing "nothing" - I feel that I have to be productive 24/7. I really do need to relax and enjoy what God has allowed for me to have. Why don't I feel worthy and why do I always have to look to the future. Relax. Live in the moment, clear my mind. I guess one reason I don't relax well is because when I shut down, I tend to get depressed. I need structure, schedules. I need to be needed and to be able to cross the things off of the "to do" list to prove my worth - get over yourself!
I think I will go pull some weeds and give myself a talking to so that I can enjoy what I have instead of thinking too much!!!!
I think I will go pull some weeds and give myself a talking to so that I can enjoy what I have instead of thinking too much!!!!
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